Yes, okay. The thing is who spends money on pajamas? I don’t really know anyone who does, sure people have a pair or two but most women I know wear old tee shirts/tank top & shorts/underwear/yoga pants. It’s an ugly habit I’ve found myself in. I spend time putting myself together (as together as possible..) for the day so why don’t I do the same for myself & husband in the evening? In an effort to rid myself of this habit I’ve slowly been buying pajamas & night gowns. I think I now have enough I can officially go home & clean out the dresser of my trusty PINK for Victoria secret sweat shorts that I’ve had 10 years! Ladies I urge you to do the same, it feels good to wear something good to bed.
29 always seemed like “the” age. you know what i mean? when i played barbies i was always 29, when we ask our moms how old they are, they are forever 29, it’s the right age. It felt so cool when i was 12, thinking i’d be 29 living in a city somewhere with a boyfriend, an apartment full of books. So now on the eve of my 29th birthday i sit here and think about all the things I’ve done right & all the goals i hold for my own future. I’ve mastered my pie crust, a fete I’ve been going strong at for awhile now. I think i’ve got my homemaker game down pretty well, minor mishaps filling the fridge, sweeping the floor or shrinking clothes aside. I feel like a woman, I feel powerful, i feel love. My life is filled with amazingly kind hearted and good people. I can look at myself and know that i am what i am suppose to be, i can feel good about the fact that i’m not perfect nor should I be. I (with help) was able to create a human, the most striking, breath taking human in existence. (i’m bias). just when i was getting the hang of womanhood i got to open the door to motherhood and my ground was shaken. Motherhood is beyond words tough and thrilling and joyful. We bought a home. I taught myself to use my camera & sewing machine.
I absolutely hate when people say blessed. Like something higher than themselves choose to BLESS them with something, but as I’ve gotten older i think i can understand the feeling, because lack of a better word i feel blessed. People say, “you aren’t lucky in life, you work hard for it” and i find that to be true most of the time, but then i think about all the other people who work so hard and their lives just don’t add up. they just get the hell kicked out of them time after time, even though they are doing everything right. I do work hard for what i have, Not only do i work hard for it, but my husband does too. we bust our asses to have this life, but i can’t say it’s all due to our hard work that we have it. It feels like we were Blessed. Sure, I’ve had my fair share of rough times, but in the grand scheme of things.. It can’t be that bad. I was given life then Life was given to me with my little girl & somewhere the stars alined and i was able to meet and convince Jacob that i was someone to spend any amount of time with. Those three things makes the rough worth it.
So, basically, I’m putting thanks out into the world tonight to all the people in my past 29 years who have helped me to be where i am today, Mama, sisters (blood & spirit), nieces, grandmothers, mother in laws, daughter, Friends, grandfathers, father in law.. jake. My goal for 29 is to give & create.
For years the goals i’ve set have been about me, Read more, learn to knit.. ect.. this year it’s about you. I want to do more for my fellow man. Sure I’ll read more.. but to my girl, I’ll teach my niece to knit. I’m no where near the best me i can be, but i feel happy. So.. here’s to working my ass off to create happiness where i can and Give time and energy to whoever/whatever might need it.
Starting tomorrow on September the 5th, my first day of 29. I’ll be driving to anchorage to see my partner, in hand i’ll have a home cooked meal and breakfast for him for the week. a little energy put into thoughtfulness and cooking to bring him something bright that reminds him of home when he is away working for us to have said home.
Bring on another year. i’m going to make this one good so next year i can say my goal is to drink a margarita in Mexico.
September is here & all feels right in the world. When autumn isn’t here I miss it so. Hot tea, projects, cool weather & pumpkin everything. We’re driving back & fourth from anchorage pretty often & I always feel such a hole when I leave. I wish my husband could work at home but I’m thrilled with the fact that he gets to be home all winter with us. We’re spoiled that way.